Bully! A little Teddy Roosevelt for the New Year...

 

                                                                        Bully!

Why am I writing about such a controversial man? Someone who broke up many trusts, and yet still held eugenical beliefs? Because he was such a fascinating mixture of contradictions--perhaps one of the truly American men, in the full flower of his fallibility.  

But, he was a naturalist.  

A reformer.  An avid taxidermist (ewwwww, gross!), An historian.  A husband and father of six loud, happy children.  A genus, who could speed read, and sometimes read three books in a single day.  He was a self styled rancher, who wielded a Bowie knife crafted at Tiffany's.  He was also a man of firsts, who was the first president to invite an African American to dinner (Booker T Washington) in the White House.

Alright.  What were his less attractive traits?  As I've already said, eugenics.  Ewww again.

Does anyone remember eugenics? OK--here's a brief refresher for you--it was EVIL! There was negative and positive eugenics.  Negative was sexual sterilization, while positive advocated limiting sexual relations between so-called "undesirables" as illegal.  The purpose was to create some kind of race of supermen.  Alright, so where does the space shuttle land, folks? Venus?

Here are some words by Teddy regarding his evolving views on eugenics:

Society has no business to permit degenerates to reproduce their kind…. Any group of farmers who permitted their best stock not to breed, and let all the increase come from the worst stock, would be treated as fit inmates for an asylum…. Some day we will realize that the prime duty, the inescapable duty of the good citizens of the right type is to leave his or her blood behind him in the world; and that we have no business to permit the perpetuation of citizens of the wrong type. The great problem of civilization is to secure a relative increase of the valuable as compared with the less valuable or noxious elements in the population… The problem cannot be met unless we give full consideration to the immense influence of heredity…
– Theodore Roosevelt to Charles B. Davenport, January 3, 1913, Charles B. Davenport Papers, Department of Genetics, Cold Spring Harbor, N.Y.

Whoops.  No, seriously.  He wrote this to probably the most idiotic man in America at that time, Charles Davenport.  A real twit, Davenport.

And, how about this one:

I wish very much that the wrong people could be prevented entirely from breeding; and when the evil nature of these people is sufficiently flagrant, this should be done. Criminals should be sterilized and feebleminded persons forbidden to leave offspring behind them… The emphasis should be laid on getting desirable people to breed…”
Roosevelt, “Twisted Eugenics,” in The Works of Theodore Roosevelt, op. cit., National Edition, XII, p. 201.

Alright.  I said a man of contradiction, yes? Ole Teddy was a progressive, at a time when forward-thinking politicians were badly needed.  He also championed the working class, at a time when Robber Barons were using them for cannon fodder, so that they could install solid gold faucets in their residential bathrooms.

So, I am gonna mention that he was an avowed eugenicist, a sometime racist, a man of his time, and yet a man ahead of his time.

One thing Roosevelt preached from bully pulpit, was the busting up of corporate trusts--and this meant the eventual decline of the golden age of the American corporation--for a time, anyway.

 Ok--so who was this guy? Let's begin at the beginning:

He was born to two loving parents in New York City, at mid point in a most tumultuous 19th century.  As a child, he suffered from acute Asthma, and many doctors believed that he would not grow to adulthood.  His father, whom he dearly loved, told his son to 'remake your body,' meaning that Teddy should exercise, exercise, exercise.  And, this he did, using the gymnastic rings his father had installed in the family home, and riding any horse he could.  While his asthma didn't disappear, his exertions appear to have sustained him, avoiding an early death in a time before Asthma medication.

As a child, Teddy was the darling of his entire family.  Although his parents never thought he would be able to accomplish very much.  

From a young age, Teddy read books, and then more books, and then still more books.  He especially loved to read and recite poetry, which he often did to his childhood friend and later sweetheart, Edith Carow.  

And, so it became his ritual, this busy life, where he always urged himself to "get action," and "be somebody."

As a young man, Teddy went to Harvard University (1876).  There, he lived 'high on the hog' and made friends with many men of the patrician set.  He was briefly happy in this new life, but shortly thereafter, Teddy received a cable from his kinsman, that his father was dying.  This man, who he often said was the 'best man I ever knew."  Teddy Sr. died of bowel cancer, a most painful and messy way to go, poor man.

I heard a story about Teddy's dad once, that when his son was suffering in the middle of an attack of asthma, he would hold his son in his arms, walking up and down the tiny bedroom, until the young man calmed down, and began breathing naturally.  Teddy never got over this death, and mourned his father for the rest of his life, but, and it must be said, not always in a morbid way.

After his father's death, Teddy became acquainted with acute depression--something that was common to the Roosevelt family at large.

Shortly after his father's death, Teddy had a huge fight with his childhood sweetheart, Edith Carow.  It was such a serious fight, that they would not speak again for several years. It was then, that Teddy met and subsequently married Alice Lee, who would eventually refer to her new husband as "Teddykins."

Jesus.  Teddykins? Why not call him Bonzo?

Here's Alice:

I think she's lovely.  It was said that she was possibly the prettiest debutante of NYC, when first introduced into society.

After the marriage, Teddy got himself elected to the NY state assembly.  Here, he tried to aid the poor and working class, but found that he was consistently coming up against the wall of Tammany Hall.  Now, you might remember, that this was the name of the illegal (i.e. non elected) government of New York state.  The bosses of the city began to detest young Roosevelt, who would be elected for two successive terms before he turned 26.  Not bad!

It was not too long before Teddy's wife, Alice, got pregnant for the first time.  While Teddy was away in Albany, his wife gave birth to a daughter.  It was a difficult birth, with her labor lasting more than a day.  Teddy's mother was present to make sure that both mother and daughter survived.  It was not a good idea:  she developed typhoid fever, and Alice lapsed into 'Bright's Disease" which was a lethal post partum disorder.  It led to kidney and liver failure.  By the time Teddy arrived from Albany, both women were nearly dead.  His mother died first, to be followed by Alice the next day.  Two deaths on the same day.  Crap.  Can you imagine? I mean how could he survive this? Well, he very nearly didn't.  

So, what does one do, to get away from crushing grief?  One goes West, young man, that's what.  A this is precisely what Teddy did, ending up roaming around both Dakotas, trying to establish a ranch, in what came to be sometimes known as the "beef boom."  There was indeed money to be made in cattle.  

While in the American west, Roosevelt continued his passion to slaughter small birds and animals, and then to have the majority of them stuffed.  Again, taxidermy.  Yuck.  And, did I also mention that FDR was also a stuffing enthusiast?  Double ewwwww.

Finally, however, Roosevelt would graduate from murdering small game, to bears.  In 1887, the worst winter in recent memory hit the Dakotas, killing more than half of Teddy's herd of cattle.  Nearly bankrupt (if a Roosevelt could ever be declared in such a reprehensible state), he finally headed East, to re-enter politics.  At this point, he thought of himself a man of the people, but it should be remembered, that he was a common man with a bank account.

So, I will call him an egalitarian member of the patrician class.

After a time, Teddy settled back into his old life in Manhattan.  It was at this time, that he reconnected with his old flame Edith. After a lengthy engagement, the couple married on Dec. 2, 1886, in a quiet, private ceremony.  The couple would make their home in upper New York, at a house that Teddy eventually named "Sagamore Hill."  Edith would give Teddy a rather large family, which is what he always wanted.  She also didn't die on him.   But, she sure did give her children some interesting names...

 

No, not the frog!  But seriously, his favorite son's name was Kermit.  Please don't ask me where in the hell his wife came up with that name.  I mean, Jim Henson wasn't even born yet.

One of the facts that people don't remember about Theodore, is that he was also an author of books--mainly on American history.  One of his most interesting works was a four volume history entitled "The Winning of the West."  He was only 30.

Early on in his career of public service, Teddy was known as a reformer, which frankly was in keeping with Progressive politics.  He did some of his finest work, as the Civil Service Commissioner.  

While Teddy's life went one direction, his brother Elliot's went another.  Elliot had been the son in whom his family's expectations were high.  He was thought to be the most handsome, and the brightest of his siblings.  But, expectations do not always come true, do they?  In his late teens, Elliot began to experience severe headaches, and depression.  He began to drink.  He had seizures.  In his early twenties, he became engaged to a nice woman, and his family hoped that the marriage would be his salvation.  Sadly, this was not to be.  The couple had three children, and Elliot's drinking became so bad, that his family had him temporarily committed to an institution for the insane.  When Elliot returned to his family, he went right back to drinking.  He began to fool around--having two mistresses at once, and getting a family maid pregnant at the same time.  

Schmuck!!

Elliot would, on average, drink about 6 bottles of brandy and/or champagne per day.  Needless to say, he was dead at 34.  Teddy wept, but remained a devoted uncle to his brother's children, especially Eleanor.

Roosevelt's career moved on apace, eventually leading him to a new job:  Assist Sec. of the Navy.  Here, he began to indulge yet another passion:  boats.  He built up the American navy to nearly acceptable modern standards.

While Roosevelt loved his wee boats, he had always craved something more--to fight in a real war.  According to many biographers, Teddy was absolutely in love with the romance of war.  This would eventually lead to the debacle in Cuba.

On Feb. 15, 1898, the American battleship, Maine, blew up in Havana harbor.  While they were probably not guilty, everyone blamed the Spanish (who were currently occupying the island).  This began the catastrophic and moronic "war" between the US and Spain--a conflict that would stretch from Cuba, to the Philippines.  And, what a disaster it was, with the defeat of Spain a foregone conclusion.

Activists like Mark Twain railed against this ridiculous war:

We have gone there to conquer, not to redeem. . . It should, it seems to me, be our pleasure and duty to make those people free, and let them deal with their own domestic questions in their own way. And so I am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land.

But, Teddy was an avowed imperialist, while Twain was ... absolutely not.

One of the most fascinating things about this little 'adventure,' were the men with whom Teddy went to war:  his so-called "Rough Riders." What an interesting bunch of guys! In this intrepid band, were cowboys, Irish cops, rich boys and others from diverse parts of America. Together, these guys would participate in the, like two and a half battles of this squalid little affair, but oh boy! was Teddykins thrilled to finally be taking the field against the enemy! Any enemy! Who the hell cares what country, just give me a war, goddamn it!

Yeah, of course it was like this!!  

Uh huh.

Sure.

War is never supposed to be a game, but Teddy was oblivious to this.  Roosevelt would later refer to this period in his life as "my crowded hour."

Christ.  Really?

Teddy emerges from the "war" a self-styled hero, and even wins one of the highest medals for valor.  For what?  So that he could become governor of New York, an election he won easily.  And, yes, you guessed it folks, Teddy was just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the White House.  

By 1900, Teddy was named Vice President to William McKinley's President.  Roosevelt did not want to become VP, a job he regarded as useless.  To many of his opponents, this was ideal, so that Teddy would become inert as a politician.  After all, wasn't the vice presidency, the final resting place for any public servant?

No one could have known it, but McKinley's days were numbered--a young radical, an anarchist, cut short the new president's term with a shot to the stomach.  Now, the president didn't die immediately, but instead lingered for several days.  At one point, it looked as though he might indeed pull through, but things took a turn when he developed gangrene.  Death was swift after that, and Theodore Roosevelt would subsequently become the youngest president in US history.  He was 42.

As president, Roosevelt was controversially true to form.  He took on the out of control Robber Barons, with implementation of the under used anti-trust legislation, recently passed by Congress.  He then took on the meat packing industry, by implementing the Pure Food and Drug Act, which would eventually turn into the Food and Drug Administration.

But, it was his use of the Antiquities Act, that provided us with Teddy's finest hour.  In a series of deft moves, Teddy signed legislation establishing five new national parks: Crater Lake, Oregon; Wind Cave, South Dakota; Sullys Hill, North Dakota (later re-designated a game preserve); Mesa Verde, Colorado; and Platt, Oklahoma (now part of Chickasaw National Recreation Area).

But, this established a practice by future presidents, to use the Antiquities Act as a way to preserve gorgeous national spaces, like the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, the grand canyon, and Yellowstone.  In my mind, this was one of the greatest achievements of any president, for these monuments act as a kind of natural testament to the American character.

  

        

                        wind cave,.

It was inevitable that Roosevelt's administration should come to an end, albeit prematurely.  He chose not to run for a second term, and later changed his mind.  In the last portion of his life, he would serve again in congress, and run again for the presidency, to no avail.  In time, Roosevelt, while not retiring from public life, definitely receded from view.

But, he was not yet done.  Honestly, when was Teddy ever done?

He and his son Kermit went on an expedition to South America, on a risky idea:  ooooh! let's map the Amazon!

oooooooh kaaaaaaaay.

Yup, Dear Reader, it was a disaster.  both Kermit and his dad ended up with malaria.  The expedition was plagued with everything imaginable, and were even stalked by a tribe of cannibals.  Jesus.  It's like Pirates of the Caribbean.  While Kermit managed to get better, Teddy nearly died.  At one point, he asked his son to leave him behind in the jungle.  This was something Kermit could not do.  He took control of the men, and managed (with a lot of help), to finally get the survivors out of the jungle.  They were very lucky, but the trip cost Teddy all of his youthful vitality.  He returned to New York City, an old man, and over 50 lbs. lighter.  From this point, Teddy moved into a slow but inexorable decline.

In the ensuing years, Teddy was full of ambitions to somehow regain the White House, and/or some public position.  Alas, this was not to be.  A politician's life eluded him, and he found himself feeling increasingly useless, as the biggest war in western history approached:  world war one.  Although he asked president Wilson if he could fight the Germans, the president refused.  Undaunted, Teddy made sure that each one of his sons entered active service.  He would lose his son Quentin in France--something else that he would not recover from.  

Teddy survived the war at home, and soon it was the turn of another Roosevelt to ascend to the public spectrum:  his fifth cousin Franklin.

It was somehow strange that Teddy should fade into obscurity and old age, he cut such a larger than life figure.  But, he retreated to his home at Sagamore Ridge, spending time with his family.  His great energetic spirit gradually diminishing.  Theodore Roosevelt died in his sleep, at the tender age of 60.  

For all of his physical problems, T. Roosevelt was one of the most popular, and beloved presidents in American history--and yet no one today even remembers him:  just who is that guy with Jefferson and Washington and Lincoln on Mt. Rushmore?  Teddy who?  

Sigh.

Teddy, Theodore Roosevelt, that's who.

So, speak softly, and carry a big stick.  Oh, no.  Wait.  That's American imperialism.  And that, Dear Reader, is next week.  Until then, Happy New Year!