Into the Minds of Moria: Hitler's good little orc, Reinhard Heydrich

Hannah Arendt, who wrote an account of the trial of Eichmann in Jerusalem, characterized Nazism as "the banality of evil." What exactly does that mean? BANALITY: "the quality of being boring, ordinary, and not original." https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/banality At least according to the Cambridge University dictionary. But, do I agree with Arendt's use of that term? Yes and no. Hitler's inner circle were extraordinarily ordinary men, not gifted with either intellect or extensive education (excepting perhaps Albert Speer). And yet, these men were truly gifted in their collective hatred and paranoia...of just about everything and everyone.

But, there were special orcs, even within the circle of Hitler's closest minions. This is the story of one of the worst:

Hitler’s favorite orc. All right. You caught me. That orc is actually from the World of Warcraft.

OK. Let me introduce you to this freak:

Reinhard Heydrich.

But, perhaps this is a better likeness.

Who was this wanna-be serial killer?. He was a thug. Sh*&, even Hitler referred to him as the "man with the iron heart,” and I don't think that he was being very complimentary.

He was born Reinhard Tristan Eugen Heydrich in 1904. His father was an opera singer and composer, if you can believe it. His family was Roman Catholic, and this little freak regularly served as an alter boy. Ewwwwwww--irony anyone? I guess you could say that his family belonged to the upper middle class. Little Reinhard was taught music from an early age, and he quickly grew proficient on the violin and piano.

During WW1, Heydrich's family faithfully sided with the Kaiser and his ultra nationalism. This continued throughout his childhood. Initially 'sickly', or weak, Heydrich was encouraged to participate in sports, which he did with enthusiasm. He also showed some talent in rudimentary science, but it's clear that this boy was no Einstein.

By the war's end, Heydrich and his family fell into economic despair--along with the rest of Germany. People just didn't have time for music lessons, and so the family's fortunes continued on the fast track to Mazatlan. After WW1, many young men felt disaffected--some were vets, others simply poor, yet both blaming their country's plight on the mightily flawed Versailles Treaty (I'll tell you that Byzantine tale another time, Dear Reader). That ill-fated document virtually destroyed the post-war German economy, leaving the door open for lunatic fringe politics. In those days, fringe theory manifested in three ways: Communism, ultra nationalism, or anarchism.

You may, or may not remember what the redoubtable Ferris Bueller once said Dear Reader: "Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."

One definitive trend arose in Germany politics during the twenties, although it was hardly a new one: virulent antisemitism. Our young orc-in-training Reinhard, fell in with several antisemitic groups during this period. Why he did so is not so easy to determine, although historians speculate that he may have been pushed towards this due to a rumor that followed Heydrich around from the time he was a young man: he had Jewish ancestry. But, this turned out to be utter bullshit: a maternal uncle had once married a Jewish woman.

Whoopsie.

Did these early developments create, in Heydrich, the rudiments of the ultimate future Nazi schmuck? This future inspector of the Fuhrer’s nostrils? I don’t know. Sometimes, there are elements in the 'perfect storm' of history that create di&kheads. In this case, murderous di&kheads. My Dad used to tell me an old adage: that there were only two or three original stories, therefore nothing was original, and perhaps that's true. However, there was something uniquely horrible about the terrifying crop of right wing radicals in Germany that season.

By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes....

The dynastic trio: Tr**p, Himmler, and Heydrich.

Reinhard-baby joined the German navy in 1922. There was something strange that happened during his tenure as a cadet though--there were persistent rumors that Heydrich was of Jewish ancestry, something that was not geared to make him popular in a virulent anti semitic environment. Perhaps in response to that, perhaps not, Heydrich joined several anti semitic groups. I don't know, maybe Reinie-baby was prepping his credentials?

I mean, he could'a been anything...anyone:

Maybe a pirate...

...or perhaps a steam punk.

(Alright, alright, Dear Reader--you got me. I'm just having entirely too much fun with the new AI photo generators, and I'm not done yet).

But, let's get back to it....

By approx. 1924, Heydrich was promoted to senior midshipman, and was subsequently sent to officer candidate school. In '26, he made it to ensign, and was then assigned to his first major position as a signals officer, serving on board the SMS Schleswig-Holstein. I guess he was pretty damned good, because by 1928, he made first lieutenant.

It was unfortunate for his budding naval career, however, that Reinhard couldn't keep his dick in his pants. He had a lot of indiscreet affairs, and the German naval corps was a notoriously conservative environment. Somehow, this bright light bulb managed to get himself simultaneously engaged to two women--not something that was gonna endear him to the naval high command. And it didn't. He was booted out in April, 1931, with a small severance package. He ended up marrying one of his former fiancees, Lina Van Osten (who was also a good little national socialist). Like his wife, he too joined the Nazi Party--but too late, you know? Hitler only seemed to like people who'd joined his insane crusade before he'd seized power. Oh well.

And yet, luck was with our young toadie, and his new wife's godbrother, Karl von Eberstein, helped to arrange an interview for Reinhard with none other than Heinrich Himmler. Ole Darth Himmler was in the process of creating a kind of counter-espionage unit within his beloved good squad (the SS).

When the two villainous assh*les finally came together, it was love at first sight. Himmler loved Heydrich's ideas for his new counter espionage unit, and essentially hired him on the spot. It's horrifically funny, that Heydrich's only knowledge of spycraft came from the novels he'd read as a young man. At his interview with Himmler, he simply recounted actions in his childhood books, and his prospective boss fell head over heels in love (of course Himmler knew jack shit about spycraft as well).

By 1932, Heydrich was appointed head to the SD--a nasty little security service within Himmler's agency. They began their private reign of terror, by gradually gaining control of local police forces. Eventually, Heydrich would head up an entirely political police force. As you can clearly see, Dear Reader, our two tiny little d*Ckheads were devotedly following the 'How to be a Totalitarian Prick' playbook.

As he was in charge of counter intelligence for Himmler, you might imagine that Heydrich soon made some weighty enemies...and you would be right, Dear Reader. This revived rumors regarding Heydrich's Jewish ancestry. It didn't have any effect: Reinie-baby was far too powerful by that point.

Heydrich had numerous other duties--all covert in nature. However, in 1936, he was asked by superiors to aid in coordinating the Olympic Games. During these summer games, overt anti semitic propaganda (and actions) were forbidden, with the express intent of giving a false impression to international visitors. The games, as a show, were enormously successful.

By 1938, Heydrich was also instrumental in organizing pro-Nazi demonstrations throughout Austria, thus paving the way to the Anschluss (formal annexation of Austria by Nazi Germany). By 1939, Reinhard found himself in control of a huge internal covert apparatus, the Reich Security Main Office. Also, as mentioned earlier, he later became president of the International Criminal Police Commission--which would later be known as interpol.

Wanna-be super cop.

By 1940, Heydrich was put in a position of authority to carry out Hitler's "Night and Fog Decree" (https://avalon.law.yale.edu/imt/chap15_part05.asp). In this 'document,' all persons who jeopardized German "security" were to be arrested covertly, i.e. "under night and fog." Disappeared. Vaporized. Gassed. This category of persons were considered to be outside of 'undesirables,' from the Nazi P.O.V. The number of innocents murdered under this decree has never been successfully established, but some documents suggest a possible 7,000 beings were taken under this edict. https://www.sources.com/SSR/Docs/SSRW-Nacht_und_Nebel.htm

Between 1939-1940, Heydrich was additionally placed in charge of some Polish ethnic cleansing: under "Operation Tannenberg," some 100,000 people were murdered--many of them among the intelligentsia.

In 1941, Heydrich was put in charge of the Bohemia and Moravia protectorates--territories taken from Czechoslovakia. He arrived in Prague, determined to end what he deemed as 'soft treatment' of their resistance. While there, he immediately initiated martial law. In the end, he arrested anywhere from 4,000 to 5,000 people. He ordered the summary execution of some 500 people, while the rest went to the Mauthausen-Gusen concentration camp. You know what happened there, Dear Reader.

As of 1942, Heydrich had become known as the "Butcher of Prague." Unbeknownst to him, British intelligence had long been training insurgents to attempt his assassination, but more on that later. First, we need to talk about the Wannsee Conference...but that's for next time. Until then, Dear Reader, have a good week.