The Watergate Break-In: Howdy Doody and the Keystone Cops try a little counter intelligence...

 Watergate was one of the more complicated Gordian Knots of American political history.  While it appeared to be about a break-in at the Democratic National Committee Headquarters in Washington DC (which were of course located in the Watergate complex), it was actually about so much more--a systematic series of covert actions by the men in Nixon's White House, that broke literally every political law we have in this country. 

Watergate began as a weird story about some middle aged former spies, who were arrested for breaking and entering the home court of the opposing political party, one fine early morning, and ended with the resignation of a president.

So, how did it begin?  Well, in a former post, I dealt with Nixon's history of political dirty tricks, particularly in terms of winning elections.  Remember ratfucking?  By 1972, Nixon was convinced that the radical Left was gunning for him.  He was obsessed with the fact that the radical Left was somehow going to sabotage his bid for a second term in office.  The reality was, that Nixon truly had little to fear in this area.  

But, as I have already dealt with some aspects of the 1972 election in a former post, I shall not rehash it again here.  

The break in was just one incident in a long line of illegal activities. This needs to be said twice. Interesting moments before it of course include the Pentagon Papers and the strange burglary at Daniel Ellsberg’s psychiatrist’s office. 

Back to the break in. In the early morning of June 17, 1972, several men went into the Watergate bldg complex through the parking lot. They entered the bldg through a door, taping the door with masking tape!  No, they didn’t tape it LENGTHWISE. Why would they?  OMG!!!!! They taped the door lock HORIZONTALLY.

Whoopsie!!!

And GOLLY!! It was just their luck that a security guard happened by and found the tape on the door.  Not once Dear Reader, but TWICE.  And the security guard found the tape AGAIN.  Holy God.  I mean DUH!!!

And, apparently, if you were looking into the windows of the DNC from across the street, you could see the flashlights of the burglars’ strobing around the office—kind of like their own private Discotheque.  Not noticeable in the least!

And no blinds, folks, in the windows.  Oops.

And these were mostly retired CIA.  It kind of makes one a tad nervous, yes? Just a bit!

And yet, folks the comic horror show had only just begun

As I have already said it would end with the resignation of a president. The first in this nation’s history.  

What made this so comical was that when the police came they were dressed as undercover characters—hippies and the like—arresting burglars dressed in three piece suits.  Strange right?  One would hope the burglars were thinking that they would impersonate James Bond.  And the whole scene was ironic—something of a promise that the times, they were a changin—well, I mean truly, Dylan had it right, you know?

And please bear with me, Dear Reader, while I include this clip from “The Watchmen”

Ye Gods I love that!  

The history of Watergate is really about the end of the establishment White rule in this country. Now don’t get me wrong, Dear Reader, I am aware that those who support the far right are rather active….but if you really think in the long term, white rule in this country is under attack. I truly believe that. And about time too—shall we ask Crazy Horse what he thought, about white dominance in this country?  Pontiac? Chief Joseph? Or, perhaps we could get out the Ouja board and speak to other victims of the controlling faction—like 4 little girls who were murdered on a Birmingham Sunday…hopefully you’ll discover soon that I believe this song to be hugely important, because it is one of the anthems of the 1960s, which gave rise to the schism between that exists between the American people—between rich and poor, whites and basically everyone else. 

(There is a little bit of talking in this clip…skip forward about a minute, and you’ll hear the song. ). The live version is just beautiful.

And now we’ll leave the burglars ladies and gentlemen—Dear Readers all—and continue the comedy/tragedy of Watergate in the next epistle.